To Sir With Love

Respected Sir,

Greetings to the greatest management guru in India, nay, Asia!

I was aghast to read the wild allegations levelled against you by some brain-dead bloggers. I was greatly depressed to read such lies about you. I began sobbing. I cried to myself:”Is there no justice in this world, O Lord? How could You permit this to happen?” How could a snob from a pathetic B-school called IIM have the temerity to say anything like this about the greatest guru of all time?

On coming to know that this loser was working for the company which had manufactured my laptop, I felt an irresistible urge to burn my laptop. I am sure many of my B-school mates all over India felt the same. Besides, it is actually necessary to burn our laptops. Otherwise, how would we fulfill the Great Indian Dream? I still remember your references to Gandhiji and the Civil Disobedience movement in your esteemed book.

But I digress. The point is that this IIM bloke doesn’t know how superior our institute is to IIM. We also teach planning, which the IIM’s neglect. Take your rise to fame, for instance. How well-planned was it! A book, followed by full page ads in TOI, and finally, a film! You counted your chickens really well, and achieved what you wanted.

You never cease to amaze me!

He raised questions about your education. I could only pity his intellectual bankruptcy. With a great economist (your father, who gave us valuable insights into the planned economies of Russia and China) at the helm of your life, who needs education? Management education like yours makes graduation seem insignificant and trivial.

My heart still leaps with joy, when I reread your book again and again. It is my very own Chairman Mao’s Little Red Book. Especially the part where you classify Karl Marx as an inspiration for managers. With managers like Karl Marx, who needs union leaders?

I remember those days,when, in my time of trouble you had come to me. I had failed to secure an admission to a respectable B-school. I had read your advertisement in the newspaper and I got the solution to all of my problems. I actually dared to think beyond the IIM’s, and thanks to you and your institute, I can hope of getting placed in a reputed company.

Sir, we are always by your side. Our laptops are always ready to be burnt, and if the need arises, we will burn everything that is made by the company that the smartass joins next.

Yours sincerely,

Student .

(Final year BBA and MBA combined course)