Shanghai(ed) English

I was reading last fortnight’s Business India, when I came across this.

Instructions for use of a Tolet (sic) sanitary napkin(actually a tissue you spread on the commode seat before parking your bottom there) manufactured by Dandong Shiyuanbaoquhaotian.

How to use it:

Opening the packing takes out the one.

Take out the one to slice to sew along the order type tear off.

Will tore the part place the front, bedding at sit and then protect plank top. To prevent genitals from contact toilet.

The convenience leaves into the garbage an inside behind.

What was the author of this curious little text thinking of? This could easily pass off for an old Chinese method of preventing AIDS!

No wonder, everybody is shit (literally and figuratively) scared of the Chinese!